The Milestone
As of yesterday, I am 40…
🫥
I’m still processing how I feel about it…
If I live long enough to die a natural death, I’m almost — if not — halfway there…
I’m on vacation with my family, and at this moment, sitting on a beachfront porch, just as I wrote that macabre thought, a literal rainbow appeared before me:
And now it’s pouring.
Isn’t that just like life?
Clouds cover your perfect daybreak, turning serenity to a gray, weighted dull. And then a bright beautiful lining paints multi-colored hope across the gloom, and you are grateful for all the gray because the colors of the rainbow would have otherwise been lost. Blissfully wrapped in awe, you don’t realize the light and scattered droplets, until missiles of water surround you, the wakes of their splashes cannot be avoided…
I really wanted to publish before I hit 40 — I fully intend to self-publish after all!
But life.
And so I missed the milestone I set for myself.
It feels a little like grieving, because I did not accomplish what I really wanted to…
And I confess, I didn’t set myself up for success either, so there’s also a sting of disappointed daggers pointed at me…
But to be completely vulnerable, there’s a bit of relief, too. The pressure to publish is gone…
Like this morning’s weather (and in true 6 fashion) I am a mixed bag of thoughts and emotions, and I honestly haven’t yet decided what to think or feel about it.
But one thing is indelible: